January 18, 2011

Today:
- The GTA, and apparently lots of the eastern seaboard, stopped in anticipation of an ice storm, or because it really hit. Here in the city of Toronto proper it was all hype. Mike and I walked to and from Laser Eagles.
- Mike and a little bit I started to draft the WPIT organization chart, with the Smart Draw software Peter Christianson bought for us.
- We made real progress with the painting “Dirty Window”, and painted another left over paint piece.
- Elizabeth and I made a little progress with grant writing.
- I landed a small monthly job.

The stuff I DIDN’T get done fills another half page. My desk is a mess. Stuff “to do” is spilling onto the printer, the dining table, the bureau, sometimes my bed.

I haven’t yet started reading the draft of my book!

When life gets like this I get jittery. Yes, I have moments when I experience the “going forward” but I also feel the anxiety of fearing that the “not done” will sneak up and bite me in the ass. Why have I not yet written contracts with Mike, Kimberly, Dan, Elizabeth and Peter? What about scheduling, performance reviews, hiring, training, What about fund raising for the assistant’s salaries? Etc., etc.

Tomorrow I must get “real” and figure out who is going to take some of this on. Gloria keeps on saying I don’t give things away. I don’t think this is what she means, exactly, but somehow I literally can’t keep up with myself, or so it seems today.

At the same time I believe that the jitters really come from the small me fighting the international me, somehow worried that I am not “safe” playing out my life and vision in this way. Be small “it” says. Take on less. Don’t expose yourself.

Well it’s too late for that now, isn’t it!

I have heard it said that a powerful road to success is to plan to fail often and progressively – learning something with each failure. If this works, what failure could I take on next which would make a real difference?

Some candidates are:
- finding two executive assistants
- selling my art for big bucks
- preselling my book
- How about – getting the Nobel Peace Prize? I like that one!

Tomorrow I will start to find out what it takes to win the Nobel Peace Prize! Even if I never get it, putting the steps into place must make a genuine difference in how the world views and does Inclusion.