Certainly there is value in keeping a daily journal. It is valuable in keeping me from unconsciously looping over the same thoughts and worries. Of course, it’s not that I don’t loop. Rather I can see the loops more quickly and have a go at saying something new more readily when I am writing everyday. As I engage in writing and thinking new (to me) things my world gains possibilities.
As for others, there are 17 followers of this blog, which is truly amazing to me! It certainly seems that a slowly growing circle of people are engaged with me in a dialogue about Inclusion. Of course this is not a typical dialogue but there is definitely an element of conversation. This element mostly shows up when people talk to me in real life situations about what they have recently read here. This is perhaps the most valuable aspect of this blog for me as I have many more moments when I am able to talk about things that I’m interested in with people where I don’t have to start at “square one”.
The intention of writing these postings daily has broken down a number of times. Some gaps happened when I ran out of things to say, but usually, at these times the daily discipline has been valuable because pushing through the gap gets me to a deeper level of understanding of myself and what I think. More of the gaps have happened when there was just more going on than I could physically and socially keep up with. In Savannah it was just more than I could fit into my energy level and time frame. It was important to focus on making sure that the painting happened. And it did happen!
On Friday night of last week I did a presentation at The Sentient Bean in Savannah – a community and social justice oriented coffee shop. I included in my talk the six pictures of the work that Mike and I did over eleven days at Imlay House.
From a certain perspective I left out one of the paintings. I use paper towels in one of my techniques to create a water colour impression. Mike saved the paper towel used to create one of the six. It is, in fact, a seventh creation all by itself, but I did not include it in the slides I showed that night.
Painting with Mike as my tracker, and also having him as one of only two personal assistants, and also living with him as a housemate for two weeks created the kind of emotional compression that my circle worries about vis a vis me and my safety and the choices I make in my life. It was very clearly, at least at some points, a strain for both of us. We got through it and we both did quite well, I think. We accomplished what we intended to do and the accomplishments were well done for the most part. At the same time we have conversations to have with each other and with others to explore that emotional compression and to see if there are better ways to achieve such accomplishments in the future.
So what was achieved? For me it was the six paintings, and above all THE painting. It turned out that “Dirty Window” is not THE painting. By February 20th it was clear to me that Mike and I could not finish “Dirty Window” in a way that would leave me satisfied with the work and him feeling acknowledged for his effort. It was at this point that I had a conversation with Mike that gave me a better understanding of how he could paint and keep up the work in a way that was both centred in his previous experience of doing art and reflecting the direction I wanted to go in. When I understood what he meant by “inking” I was able to formulate the picture in my own mind in a way that could work for both of us. Once again the art lead both of us in a different direction. The painting ‘Winter Mourning” is a true expression of Mike’s efforts, my response to the prison, and what the art itself wanted to be.
Here are some of our other accomplishments. I saw 14 pelicans over 2 days. We had a lot of fabulous meals. We spent a little less money than was available – YAY! We went for several long walks – sometimes together, sometimes separately. I gave two trainings for Chatham Savannah Citizen Advocacy, and both were well received. My talk at the Bean lead to some interesting reflections on what it will take to forward the action on Inclusion and Peace. Finally I did a bang up job of supporting an advocacy group on the last Monday of our trip, in Atlanta.
Now is a re-entry time. I love Savannah and I love Etobicoke. I am appreciated in a way in Savannah that does not happen anywhere else. The same is true in Etobicoke. The two worlds are different and both compelling. Part of my own inclusion journey is to continuously sort out having both.
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