Today I awoke to realize, in the barely beginning dawn, that the crane at the railway near the modular concrete boxes had disappeared out of view. I fell asleep again. Perhaps twenty minutes later I opened my eyes again and there was the crane. It had moved back into view. The sun was far from up and peering at the giant thing hurt my eyes. The many street lights, highway lamp posts and security systems on the local warehouses were mostly still on and intensely bright.
Perhaps three hours later the crane was rotating back and forth with such velocity that the hanging chain and clasps were bouncing around. Was it dancing?
Another hour and it was gliding almost imperceptively along and some twenty minutes later hovering above the larger grey boxes. Then I noticed a train of flatbeds, each with two grey cubes neatly placed. I thought for sure that the crane was unloading the flatbeds, but, no, another hour or so later when I visited my window again – this time the crane was harnessed to a cube, but looking like it was loading the train!
Which is it – loading or unloading? Who is playing this glacially slow game?
It was a beautifully sunny day and the new accountant had taken all the blank payroll cheques as well as miswriting one for this payroll. I urgently needed an alternative way to pay Mike. In my mailbox was a notice of a parcel to pick up. I was out of decaf coffee. In all this the invitation to take a walk and take frequent stops in my exceptionally accessible neighbourhood was strong. Helen and I went out.
Well –5 C (or -7 perhaps) is pretty cold, though I was doubly covered up. About a block before we reached the bank Helen was having to intermittently hold down my upper lip so I could make the speed changes necessary to get over bad curb cuts and avoid pedestrians.
I warmed up in the bank and the teller was efficiently helpful. I came away with a money order to fix the payroll problem after having ordered a new batch of cheques. The post office and decaf are only a block from the bank and we reached them without incident.
The package was not my new passport as I expected, but was from Second Story Press.
I longed for a coffee and snack at Yalla Café and to hear Michel’s stories of his New Year’s encounter with his son’s fiancée’s family at their year end party. So, thinking that I was now sufficiently warmed up, we set out to traverse the ten blocks.
Wrong! Not only did my lip get too cold but even the sip and puff pipe started to freeze up. We limped in to the café. Michel wasn’t there but his wife – Helene, warmly greeted us.
I opened my package. It contained three copies of an agenda published by Second Story Press. It features contemporary Canadian women who have made exceptional contributions. I am November!
I showed it to Helene. When she realized it was about me, she started to read it. Her English is weak and she called in another woman from the back – seemingly a cousin or friend.
The women shared one pair of reading glasses, and soon recruited the assistance of a man (the cousin’s husband it turned out) who used an I-Pod or Blackberry with a Lebanese/English translation application.
Both Helen and I, sitting quietly with our coffees, observed my story and words emerged in Lebanese. Inclusion took a leap into yet another culture. I was awe struck!
The cousins departed and Helene struggled to express her thoughts. She apologized and said she was fluent in French but not English. I still have a smattering of school French and I asked her to say it in that language. She said “fier” and I said “proud”. She clapped.
For me the connection was electric.
As we left Helene ducked into the basement and brought up a blanket to wrap me up. I rolled home a happy pink bundle.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
January 6, 2011
I need to draft some stuff for the Executive Director of the Atkinson Charitable Foundation so I thought I’d start here.
The task is to equip her with enough compelling analysis and evidence in two hours so that she can activate her Board to take action on their Inclusion agenda.
What can the Board actually do to empower Inclusion? Their focus is on policy change. Where would policy change actually make Inclusion more likely to occur?
What would Inclusion look like? According to the BMX model:
- B – easier, more expected, even facilitated access for “targeted” individuals and groups to claim a space with little or no interaction required
- M – person centred and individualized services, citizen and economic development focus replaces welfare, charitable and health approaches
- X – broad recognition that everyone has differences that can foster interaction, relationship and so social and economic opportunity AND that the very characteristics that get turned into symptoms and excuses for labelling are potential for interaction, relationship and so social and economic opportunity
What happened to developing a common literacy about Inclusion.
To make the leap one must understand “Giftedness” – that is that gifts are anything you have, are or do that creates an opportunity for interaction and that interaction is fundamental to relationship and so social and economic opportunity. All differences are gifts.
Anyone who believes that either they themselves or anyone else is not what they should be already is in a trap.
Tell some stories.
Explain my organization bases and my history. Explain that recreating the same sort of organizations as already exist will automatically exclude most people who are labelled.
Excluded people LOOK like they are not contributing. This is a structural limitation.
Hospitality is a powerful stimulation for Basic Inclusion. What happened to revolutionary lunches?
Economics and Inclusion? We already said uneven labour market practices were founded in social exclusion. There is an inseparable link. This is a POLICY issue.
How ACF spends its money, and currently, if ACF spends its money, is a mark of its true values. In terms of X Inclusion, withholding its resources totally indicates no willingness to enter into genuine dialogue with those whose citizenship remains unexpressed.
The task is to equip her with enough compelling analysis and evidence in two hours so that she can activate her Board to take action on their Inclusion agenda.
What can the Board actually do to empower Inclusion? Their focus is on policy change. Where would policy change actually make Inclusion more likely to occur?
What would Inclusion look like? According to the BMX model:
- B – easier, more expected, even facilitated access for “targeted” individuals and groups to claim a space with little or no interaction required
- M – person centred and individualized services, citizen and economic development focus replaces welfare, charitable and health approaches
- X – broad recognition that everyone has differences that can foster interaction, relationship and so social and economic opportunity AND that the very characteristics that get turned into symptoms and excuses for labelling are potential for interaction, relationship and so social and economic opportunity
What happened to developing a common literacy about Inclusion.
To make the leap one must understand “Giftedness” – that is that gifts are anything you have, are or do that creates an opportunity for interaction and that interaction is fundamental to relationship and so social and economic opportunity. All differences are gifts.
Anyone who believes that either they themselves or anyone else is not what they should be already is in a trap.
Tell some stories.
Explain my organization bases and my history. Explain that recreating the same sort of organizations as already exist will automatically exclude most people who are labelled.
Excluded people LOOK like they are not contributing. This is a structural limitation.
Hospitality is a powerful stimulation for Basic Inclusion. What happened to revolutionary lunches?
Economics and Inclusion? We already said uneven labour market practices were founded in social exclusion. There is an inseparable link. This is a POLICY issue.
How ACF spends its money, and currently, if ACF spends its money, is a mark of its true values. In terms of X Inclusion, withholding its resources totally indicates no willingness to enter into genuine dialogue with those whose citizenship remains unexpressed.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
January 5, 2011
Yes, almost unbelievably, the repair man arrived at my Etobicoke apartment, from Pickering, before 9:00am and the chair was working by 9:15am. A loose wire somewhere! Thank God.
The new Executive Director of the Atkinson Charitable Foundation is a mother of two young children, and our meeting started a few minutes late due to her handling children’s needs. It made me feel a whole lot more comfortable!
Olivia is both a respectful listener and a great listener. She comes from a UK culture where disability advocacy is the rage – considered to be the ultimate activity for a person who has been labelled disabled. At first she gave me the impression of being dumbfounded to hear that I think advocacy can be a trap. By the time that our meeting was over she invited me back for a focused conversation about how she might guide the Atkinson board in the direction of Inclusion. We scheduled a time!
Right now seems to be a gestation period – a plateau. The difference is that this plateau is at a distinctly different – higher? – level than I have ever been before.
On the one hand people are listening and doing like never before. Mike is ACTUALLY preparing the book’s first draft with me; people ARE reading this blog; Kimberly is REALLY preparing to do tracker training; Paul is INCLUDING my support needs in his plans for developing Laser Eagles and CAVE.
On the other hand just as I am myself starting to give WPIT more of my attention Atkinson and CAVE are taking notice and offers to pay me to work out of town are starting to materialize. Could it be that I suddenly will have to choose – travel to make money and be heard versus sustainability at home while I/we give these new beginnings a chance to grow to new maturity.
Is it true that both – out of town expert and local, reliable leader – are possible? How can this truly be possible?
It’s late. Another short piece – I apologize. I think you get the gist. In order to not drop back and hide, to stand for “All of it” as Landmartians say, I need to be open to strategies opening up that right now I cannot imagine.
Good night!
The new Executive Director of the Atkinson Charitable Foundation is a mother of two young children, and our meeting started a few minutes late due to her handling children’s needs. It made me feel a whole lot more comfortable!
Olivia is both a respectful listener and a great listener. She comes from a UK culture where disability advocacy is the rage – considered to be the ultimate activity for a person who has been labelled disabled. At first she gave me the impression of being dumbfounded to hear that I think advocacy can be a trap. By the time that our meeting was over she invited me back for a focused conversation about how she might guide the Atkinson board in the direction of Inclusion. We scheduled a time!
Right now seems to be a gestation period – a plateau. The difference is that this plateau is at a distinctly different – higher? – level than I have ever been before.
On the one hand people are listening and doing like never before. Mike is ACTUALLY preparing the book’s first draft with me; people ARE reading this blog; Kimberly is REALLY preparing to do tracker training; Paul is INCLUDING my support needs in his plans for developing Laser Eagles and CAVE.
On the other hand just as I am myself starting to give WPIT more of my attention Atkinson and CAVE are taking notice and offers to pay me to work out of town are starting to materialize. Could it be that I suddenly will have to choose – travel to make money and be heard versus sustainability at home while I/we give these new beginnings a chance to grow to new maturity.
Is it true that both – out of town expert and local, reliable leader – are possible? How can this truly be possible?
It’s late. Another short piece – I apologize. I think you get the gist. In order to not drop back and hide, to stand for “All of it” as Landmartians say, I need to be open to strategies opening up that right now I cannot imagine.
Good night!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
January 4, 2011
It was a double whammy sort of day. The back/leg pain is strong, then my chair broke down. Now I am lying in bed, and so is Mike, who also has felt crappy (and crabby) all day.
What is authentic expression right now? Whining, bitching, sleeping?
What is keeping my word right now? Blogging, figuring out how to get to the Atkinson meeting anyway, stating openly what isn’t going to get done?
It’s not going to be a two pager right now. The body/mind is too tired.
I can imagine a support circle that honoured my vision and my perspective, that fully got why I can’t stay home and play safe, AND worked with others who say they can imagine me reaching the world through video conference to make this years’ old dream come true. Then I wouldn’t have to be figuring out how I can be travelling ten weeks of this spring coming. Where are these pushy people who will make it happen?
I think, at the root of it, I haven’t stood enough for myself. Now I will. It is urgent!
What is authentic expression right now? Whining, bitching, sleeping?
What is keeping my word right now? Blogging, figuring out how to get to the Atkinson meeting anyway, stating openly what isn’t going to get done?
It’s not going to be a two pager right now. The body/mind is too tired.
I can imagine a support circle that honoured my vision and my perspective, that fully got why I can’t stay home and play safe, AND worked with others who say they can imagine me reaching the world through video conference to make this years’ old dream come true. Then I wouldn’t have to be figuring out how I can be travelling ten weeks of this spring coming. Where are these pushy people who will make it happen?
I think, at the root of it, I haven’t stood enough for myself. Now I will. It is urgent!
Monday, January 3, 2011
January 3, 2011
There is a little tug-o’-war going on in me these days. The “I don’t wanna’s” are pretty strong – I don’t wanna:
- fundraise
- have a support circle
- cut down on gluten and drink more fluids – not caffeinated ones at that
- invite people to the Completion Evening of Wisdom
- catch up on e-mail
- set up paying gigs for February and March
- get my eyes checked
- etc.
I DO wanna too, and generally I am doing a little better than 50% which is the level I was at for years.
Why the ambivalence? Well, besides not wanting to “stick out” I realized as I was waking up this morning that I have been reluctant to be honest and open about my life-long sense, strong and clear since I was twelve, that I have a personal relationship with God and that God has given me a mission – to create Inclusion, especially so that people who don’t speak can be seen and supported as contributors to society.
But this is a fact for me – one that has shaped all my life. Still I cannot imagine saying in public, or in front of my circle, certainly not frequently and bravely: “Got wants this and I want to do it!”
This reluctance to sound like a religious weirdo constantly gives strength to the “I don’t wanna’s”. It’s better to not stick out, but rather to look like I’m motivated by good thinking and research, to seem like I just want the same things as most people.
But probably I am not fooling anybody anyway. Clearly I DON’T want the same things as most people!
Being at the Terracotta Warriors exhibit last Friday reinforced deeply for me the realization that most people do not know that there is an alternative path to peace besides war. The visible evidence was impactful - that fighting for a stable society and community with abundance and opportunity for all is a way of every culture that goes back multiple millennia. It was also powerfully clear that this way is wasteful, bloody and ineffective.
The other clear message was that history takes no account of the needs, desires or contributions of ordinary people. They live and die hearing that their sole contribution to peace on earth is to support war, up to losing the lives of loved ones and themselves.
I have another way. It takes many ordinary people to build and sustain Inclusion. The good news is that when they do so they also build abundant economy and community, and eliminate the fear and inadequacy that lead to war.
Can I gather enough courage, faith, people and resources to get the message across so that all ordinary people know they have a choice and they know how to implement that choice?
- fundraise
- have a support circle
- cut down on gluten and drink more fluids – not caffeinated ones at that
- invite people to the Completion Evening of Wisdom
- catch up on e-mail
- set up paying gigs for February and March
- get my eyes checked
- etc.
I DO wanna too, and generally I am doing a little better than 50% which is the level I was at for years.
Why the ambivalence? Well, besides not wanting to “stick out” I realized as I was waking up this morning that I have been reluctant to be honest and open about my life-long sense, strong and clear since I was twelve, that I have a personal relationship with God and that God has given me a mission – to create Inclusion, especially so that people who don’t speak can be seen and supported as contributors to society.
But this is a fact for me – one that has shaped all my life. Still I cannot imagine saying in public, or in front of my circle, certainly not frequently and bravely: “Got wants this and I want to do it!”
This reluctance to sound like a religious weirdo constantly gives strength to the “I don’t wanna’s”. It’s better to not stick out, but rather to look like I’m motivated by good thinking and research, to seem like I just want the same things as most people.
But probably I am not fooling anybody anyway. Clearly I DON’T want the same things as most people!
Being at the Terracotta Warriors exhibit last Friday reinforced deeply for me the realization that most people do not know that there is an alternative path to peace besides war. The visible evidence was impactful - that fighting for a stable society and community with abundance and opportunity for all is a way of every culture that goes back multiple millennia. It was also powerfully clear that this way is wasteful, bloody and ineffective.
The other clear message was that history takes no account of the needs, desires or contributions of ordinary people. They live and die hearing that their sole contribution to peace on earth is to support war, up to losing the lives of loved ones and themselves.
I have another way. It takes many ordinary people to build and sustain Inclusion. The good news is that when they do so they also build abundant economy and community, and eliminate the fear and inadequacy that lead to war.
Can I gather enough courage, faith, people and resources to get the message across so that all ordinary people know they have a choice and they know how to implement that choice?
Sunday, January 2, 2011
January 2, 2011
Sorry!
Not tonight dear. I've got a headache!
(Not really - just been doing other stuff.)
Not tonight dear. I've got a headache!
(Not really - just been doing other stuff.)
Saturday, January 1, 2011
January 1, 2011
It has been a day of rest, play and building tools of accomplishment for 2011.
The rest is needed. I have had wheezing and an odd swelling in my left arm and hand. Considering how many people have been down with the flu recently, and how big the conversation has been lately about my death, it seemed important to consciously do stuff to tell myself that I am taking good and successful care of myself. So I have been in bed all day, peeing whenever I had the slightest inkling. The wheezing is gone and the swelling down.
The play consists of three Farmville harvests and all that entails, about five games of electronic Price is Right with Kevin my 11 year old neighbour, teasing Mike (not too much – he’s really tired from last night), some FreeCell and contemplation of greater sexual expression!
Building tools is a large piece that won’t be done all in one day. It involves opening 2011 folders, setting up a year-long calendar with everything in it – in five colours! – that I already know I am committed to and organizing my promises and related resources. I set up two tables – one for this week and one for next.
Yesterday I completed the year with the typical review of what I intend my year to look like. This work, of course, is required to be able to set up the tools. For all that 2010 was a year of dramatic events, little has changed in how I intend to live my life. This is my “To Do” banner: "I am the possibility of interesting. I am committed to World Peace through Inclusion. My word creates the world my community lives. I create with beauty, truth and goodness."
These words are essentially the same as those for 2010. I am certainly committed to World Peace through Inclusion, to my coop, my personal stability and to having a superlative staff of personal assistants. These are as clear, or even more clear than ever.
What is new is my commitment to my own expression. Hence this blog and a nearly completed first draft of my autobiography. It is also in focus that WPIT needs a real organization – I am willing to believe that the concept that peace is available through Inclusion will not disappear entirely as I let go of the reins.
And so, as I wrote two days ago, now is the time to push for money. So many of the 2011 tools now in use or in creation are intended to keep me asking for financial resources – for WPIT and for my personal assistants.
My financial coach had me realize that I did not fully realize the cost to me and to the world that I don’t have the $6 million to stabilize WPIT. I am used to imagining and working toward finding enough money month by month to keep my home, health, car and staff. My immediate work is to get crystal clear on the earth changing difference that world peace would make and how uniquely available that peace is through Inclusion.
The more clear that state is the more powerful I will be at finding the people and resources that WPIT needs.
Happy New Year!
The rest is needed. I have had wheezing and an odd swelling in my left arm and hand. Considering how many people have been down with the flu recently, and how big the conversation has been lately about my death, it seemed important to consciously do stuff to tell myself that I am taking good and successful care of myself. So I have been in bed all day, peeing whenever I had the slightest inkling. The wheezing is gone and the swelling down.
The play consists of three Farmville harvests and all that entails, about five games of electronic Price is Right with Kevin my 11 year old neighbour, teasing Mike (not too much – he’s really tired from last night), some FreeCell and contemplation of greater sexual expression!
Building tools is a large piece that won’t be done all in one day. It involves opening 2011 folders, setting up a year-long calendar with everything in it – in five colours! – that I already know I am committed to and organizing my promises and related resources. I set up two tables – one for this week and one for next.
Yesterday I completed the year with the typical review of what I intend my year to look like. This work, of course, is required to be able to set up the tools. For all that 2010 was a year of dramatic events, little has changed in how I intend to live my life. This is my “To Do” banner: "I am the possibility of interesting. I am committed to World Peace through Inclusion. My word creates the world my community lives. I create with beauty, truth and goodness."
These words are essentially the same as those for 2010. I am certainly committed to World Peace through Inclusion, to my coop, my personal stability and to having a superlative staff of personal assistants. These are as clear, or even more clear than ever.
What is new is my commitment to my own expression. Hence this blog and a nearly completed first draft of my autobiography. It is also in focus that WPIT needs a real organization – I am willing to believe that the concept that peace is available through Inclusion will not disappear entirely as I let go of the reins.
And so, as I wrote two days ago, now is the time to push for money. So many of the 2011 tools now in use or in creation are intended to keep me asking for financial resources – for WPIT and for my personal assistants.
My financial coach had me realize that I did not fully realize the cost to me and to the world that I don’t have the $6 million to stabilize WPIT. I am used to imagining and working toward finding enough money month by month to keep my home, health, car and staff. My immediate work is to get crystal clear on the earth changing difference that world peace would make and how uniquely available that peace is through Inclusion.
The more clear that state is the more powerful I will be at finding the people and resources that WPIT needs.
Happy New Year!
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